Day 1.5 in hospital down, 4 more to go! I was admitted at 10am yesterday and it took until 9pm to get the whole thing on its merry way – much better than last round’s 4am start time. For now, my stay is going much better this time, no anxiety to speak of. I even have patio privileges, which I would use if only the June gloom would go away. Oh, but what gloom can’t be lifted with a large slice of flourless chocolate cake to the face? Thanks, Mom!
My lovely new care partner, LaShaunda (AKA: LaLa) brightened my day the moment she walked in with a hot pink Winnie the Pooh binder to carry my records in. Smart bear, that Winnie: “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’” Ten minutes later, LaLa bursts in and goes, “Sister, page me anytime..if you want to girl talk, if you want to vent, whatever. Amen, giiiiirl.” She then went into a tirade about how much professional athletes make (sorry pro-sports fans) and other absurdities, therein. I think we are going to get along just fine.
Some items of my own distraction (but not really of any import):
- I’m currently a book reading machine. If you’ve got a fave must-read, pass on the word! I’m almost done with Timequake, by Kurt Vonnegut. Next up: Anthem, by Ayn Rand. Thoughts? Suggestions?
- I just learned to knit with a wool called Karma. A scarf will be my first endeavor. Since it currently takes a world of concentration on my part, it may be my first and last foray into the world of knitting. We’ll see! I could try to make a righteous poncho.
- I’m currently finishing up a charcoal portrait of my uncle – a birthday present. It’s the first piece of art I’ve made in a while, so I’ll get a good photo of it to post here. I’m hoping this will motivate me to follow through with my desire to paint, draw, scribble, build things – desires I have all day, every day but become too afraid of imperfection to even begin. That’s a super bad habit.
- In the two consecutive books I just finished, the authors made mention, but only once, of the word “Speleology.” The word seems a bit like an assault on the English language, while it merely refers to the study of caves. Never in my life have a I heard the word and I feel I will never come across it again, just a thought. So, should I take this as a sign? Does anyone else think that’s odd?
Random thought: In The Bell Jar, the narrator talks about this fig tree. All the figs on the tree are career and life paths that she wants for herself: artist, poet, writer, traveler, mother. This crazy girl spirals downward, because she’s like “Holy shit, once I pick one of these figs, then all the rest fall down and I’m screwed.” Maybe she didn’t say it so bluntly, but you get the picture. Anyways, I just found that really frustrating and depressing. There are more things I want to do in my life than I can fit on two figs trees, but don’t you think that if you climb up one branch to reach one fig, you are already that much closer to all the rest of them? That’s the way I am trying to see things, as I sit here in full realization that my chemo is going to take a little while longer than previously expected. I just want to get back to life and pick my damn figs! I’m goin gto put them all in one basket too, whatever the hell that means! End of metaphor, thanks for hanging in there with me. Oh, and my apologies to anyone whose heard me spouting complaints about my figs, as of late.
Overall, I’m feeling pretty good right now, though clearly a bit bored and all over the place. And it’s only been a day! I’ll let you know if anything changes – right now, we’ve got a close watch on my white blood count, but all seems well. As always, thank you for sending your love and support.
Jaclyn
P.S. A bit too tired to spell check. Hope my words and letters aren’t “wobbly,” as Winnie the Pooh would say.
I’m currently reading “Proust Was a Neuroscientist” and I’m thoroughly enjoying it. It’s about what people in the art and literary circles (Proust, Cezanne, Stein, Escoffier and many others) have discovered and can teach us about our mind and the way it works. As long as you approach it with the expectation being “neuroscience through the eyes of our favorite artists”, as opposed to looking for the real proofs and discoveries made about the human brain, I think it would be a quick, fun read.
Keep kicking ass through round 2!! LaLa sounds like a riot of fun.
I’m going to do my normal thing and everyone that knows me will most likely object but who cares……
about the figs…..My solution would be cut the tree at the bottom all the figs will be in reach and do whatever it is and as many things as you want. More so than most of us you have a better understanding of what it is to have life and how quickly the normal thoughts of “all is good” can quickly be changed for you.
You are in control of what you can achieve and as you have proven to all of us time and time again, you succeed….
Yes, this is usually accompanied with an ass load of complaining by you (about your figs or whatever else..) but you get to where you want to be and you strive for more.
You have the backing of us all and any of us will do whatever it takes to help you….
Sorry we couldn’t visit due to our colds. Hope you liked Brooke’s artwork.
“The Bell Jar” ? Who recommended that? Reminds me of the time I gave my friend (who had been attacked with a bat in Williamsburg (NY) and was recovering with a broken nose) a “Berlin Alexanderplatz ” DVD to pass the time!
What was I thinking?
Anything by David Sedaris if you haven’t read them all already. How about “A Confederacy of Dunces”? LOL if you can make it through the first bits.
Drawing is good for the soul, but try not to be a perfectionist. You’re so much like me! Just do it and the more you do the better you’ll get. Same with the knitting. Remember “the road is better than the inn.”
We love you girl!
Aunt LC
LaLa “sounds” perfect as a sidekick for your latest foray into the killer bunnies chemistry experiment. Floppsie, Mopsie, Cottontail and LaLa.
As for figs…as with all things, take some solace in the fact there are varying ripening rates so there will always be another fig in the offing. If everyone got caught up with investigating each and every segment of the mass quantities of “trail” variables we are all confronted with before taking a step in any direction, they’d be frozen in place forever or at least until some random act occurred to shake them from their musings. For those of us who are blessed to have multiple travel choices, we need to relish them with the knowing that whatever path we fall upon we can make it the right one, the best one, the most amazing one the universe thought possible. Note to self, write a book about a hundred ways to prepare a single fig.
“Don’t think….feeeel. It’s like a finger, pointing away to the moon. Don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.” – Bruce Lee “Enter the Dragon”
Book Club: Anything by Janet Evanovich is typically very funny and a good popcorn type read. For more heady fare, I recall enjoying “Atlas Shrugged” if you’ve only just begun being Rand-ified. If you haven’t read Richard Bach’s “Illusions,” it’s ridiculous on many levels and a MUST read.
Keep the faith kid and go kick some microscopic ass!!!
“The Fountainhead” by Ayn Rand and “Tess of the D’Urbervilles” by Thomas Hardy.
Well done today on Phase 10. I of course am still sulking over the massive loss
Remember STAY DISTRACTED while in the room.
When l think of figs, I think of fig newtons, or if I am in an Italian frame of mind, figs wrapped with prosciutto. What about grilled figs topped with homemade vanilla ice cream?
Like LC, I think more about the journey than the destination (unless of course we are hiking and I want to reach the end quickly because I like to sweat and suck wind.) I think, if you travel well and with great determination, your figs will find you.
As for speleology, that is a great word. I’ve been spelunking and love that word too because it so specific and fun to say.
As for books, check out Bill Bryson’s, “A Walk in the Woods”, an hilarious account of his time spent walking the Appalachian trail or, his other book, “A Short History of Nearly Everything.” Don’t forget Michael Pollan’s “The Omnivore’s Dilemma.”
I’d check out “The Verificationist” by Donald Atrim. It’ll probably only take you an afternoon to read. Also, “Guns Germs and Steel” is an interesting read if you want to try on some nonfiction.
More importantly, where is this charcoal sketch?